Feed.Back

From a few in-person, including my wife, but mostly via email.  Why almost no one ever leaves comments here, I don’t know.

There was much unhappiness how I wrapped up Defiant Act 2.5:  at the pool with Joe’s diagnosis.  If I were to distill is all down, I guess “casually tossing out a main character!” would be the flak I caught.

Yeah.  I did.  Because this was never meant to be a coherent novel, but a nine-month long writing exercise, the break from Acts 2 and 3 was huge.  2.5 was meant to be a bridge; but, it seems that like the Lewis & Clarke, it was a bridge too far.  The anchor issue is that Joe MUST have cancer and go to Japan for treatment:  he’s on the boat back to Portland with Maya in “Cursed Hearts.”

Is it the hyper-sexualized environment of the pool, and the emotional whiplash after, when Nichole5 realizes her First Friend is sick?  A human girl would have no idea about his illness and banged him then and there.  Nichole5 chose to shatter the moment for everyone in face of what she sees as a medical emergency.

Perhaps I went too far, too fast.  I’ll give some thought as to how I might re-write this.  Suggestions welcome, as I see nothing, right now.