Coming Back to Life

I’ve never had much use for “the Holidays.”  I am asocial and dislike the dark of winter.  Even as an orthodox Catholic, Christmas is just a matter of “meh” for me.  And this year, things preyed on my mind.

  1. Would it be ready for Ohayocon?  “It?”  Wait & see, below the fold.
  2. With our family finances in tatters, I can neither afford a line-editor nor a book cover for Defiant.
  3. My wife silently badgers me to make my next writing project about her father’s oral history.  I want to do that; I’m committed to it.   But it’s not fun!  That’s work!  I want to SEE more of my friends and family in Machine Civilization!
  4. Day-job is becoming more and more oppressive, leading to my reaxion of coming home and immediately climbing into the bottle.  Very bad form.
  5. All combining into the past six weeks:  not writing a tanjed thing.  And, borderline psychotic as a result of it.  Hell, today, at day-job, I had to use scissors to cut out some QR barcodes.  My right hand shook badly enough that Friend Tracy asked if something was wrong….

Yes.  Yes there is:  in abandoning writing, I’ve abandoned myself.  I’m dying; at a rather astonishing rate.  I do not want this:  I’ve glimpses:  Gary & Henge, older, trying to talk out where and what to do with their love for one another.  Nichole5 stands with Togame atop the New Tokyo Tower, with its Reactionless Thruster crown, talking about off-world colonies.  Editing Pirate Twins into a light-novel-with-pictures or a graphic novel…

I’ve so much to do, and I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Lent and lighter evenings are upon me; I’m not one to “give up” as I’ve so little.  Instead, I shall take on:  my father-in-law’s history, Machine Civilization’s new stories, things I cannot imagine.

Clear the decks:  I’m engaging my enemy!

Apropos of this, below the fold is the utterly astounding artwork of Matt Michallow of StarArtWorks.  He, through me, the guy wearing his art, owned Ohayocon, the largest animecon of central Ohio, two weeks ago.  Over 350 pictures taken!

Continue reading “Coming Back to Life”

RIP, Steven Den Beste

One of the greats has passed.

I’d read all of his posts on his political-military blog, USS Clueless, for years.  When he started posting review of Japanese animations, I thought he was losing his mind.  Turned out, he was showing me a world I’d not imagined.

As a family, we started watching dubbed anime.  Then subbed.  We went to anime conventions (usually the whole family cosplaying).  We started reading manga.  I started playing visual novels; then I made one; then two more.  I began to write traditional novels – much of who’s source material came from the years of anime stories in  my head.  I wrote more novels.

Would I have wandered into anime were it not for Steven?  Possibly.  But not with his intellectual rigor.  To this day, his analysis of Haibane Renmei -still my favorite anime – is breathtaking in its complexity.  The few times I posted comments to his website, or communicated with him directly, he was courteous and polite.  A gentleman.

The impact of his life upon mine is incalculable.  I was not close enough to call him a friend, but certainly a mentor.  My world, and the whole world, shall  be a darker place at his passing.

Aside:  Steven was an atheist, but not militantly so; not like a vegan.  I do have to smile, just a little, thinking about how his Exit Interview – with Someone he didn’t believe in – is going right now.  I shall have a Mass said for him.