Civil War, 2

One thing that is already bothering me is that a journal tends toward those “walls of text” which have never characterized my books. I am a dialog guy, from the show-don’t-tell group of writers. I’ll see how the rest of this first chapter unfolds, but am already toying with the idea of even-numbered chapters being Pai’s observational counterpoint to Graf’s writings to his children and their mother.

And, yes, that comes up again. Trust me, as a very socially conservative Catholic, it was and is a stress on me to have this three-way relationship. I know full well that cultures do drift over time, and here we are nearly 150 years from The Fourth Law, so I’ll keep on for now and try to muddle through. I also realize I’ll need to talk to my copyeditor about formatting. With Graf’s entries in italic, it would be confusing to use the same for his internal thoughts, which is what I’ve been using for ten books, now. Guess, I’ll figure that out, too.

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Civil War, 1

With Irrational Pai off in the hands of my copyeditor and cover designer, I was a loose ends for a bit. About 36 hours. Then, per normal, I was shown something. Most of IP was introducing the characters and the politics about fifty years on from my last novel and I knew it would be the forerunner of at least one more book. But what kind of book? Long time readers know that I like to try different things, so, borrowing from Grathew, I thought to make a kind of war diary.

This will mostly be from Graf’s POV, as he wants to leave some record for his children by Alix if he’s killed, but there will be parts where we will see that his wife, Pai, thinks of what is going on. What’s below is the a rough prologue, as I am always one to “start your story in the middle.” I’m messing about with the first chapter; as a diary, it is what I call “walls of text” versus what I normally do, which is dialog. I’m not entirely happy with the format, but am hoping to strike a balance as I keep writing.

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New Pai, 14. End

A bit abrupt. But, 1) this is a raw MS, and 2) it is part of at least one more book; the likely war which may involved two planets and the space in between. I’d like to have that finished by late July, but, honestly, I don’t see it. Instead, I’ve some RealLife things to get done in the spring. So, maybe I’ll just play with some micro story ideas. Some of those have turned into novels, so I never really know where I’ll be led.

I’ve gone back and broken this 52k word story into chapters. Sixteen plus an epilogue. There are still some bracketed notes at the very end as well as on paper just to my right. Like I said: raw MS. Also, while doing the chapters, I realized I’m introducing a lot here, even for those passingly familiar with Machine Civilization. So, a bit more material; but, this was designed to set the stage for the coming war, and I think it accomplishes that. Thanks for coming along for this journey.

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New Pai, 12

Yes, it’s been three weeks. Standard excuses for the first two: couldn’t see the ending, DayJob… The third excuse was a surprise: in my dotage I’ve suddenly developed a shellsfish allergy, so the scallops over butter noodles from Friday/Saturday before last attempted to kill me. My wife wanted to take me to the hospital but I was a mule and said no. Even so, bedridden for three days, with no food, then barely moving for two with a little toast. At one point when my wife came home from work, she said, “You like like you aged a year in a day.” Thanks, Honey.

But, just like falling off your horse’s bicycle, you get back on something. In fact, I realized one glaring and one minor issue from Part 11: glaring, that did they go off and leave the body behind? Are you kidding me? Minor, that I wanted Pai to clarify to Graf just how latently dangerous he might be. While I have rewritten that in the MS, I didn’t really see a reason to repost everything here, as these are supposed to be raws to make me think, anyway.

Having said all that, let’s get into the Epilogue. Luce finds out you do not piss off the matriarch of an entirely new race, and we catch a glimpse of Graf’s talent.

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New Pai, 11

Once you read the segment, below, you will realize why this took me several days. This is “the big reveal,” as they say in the biz. And, it’s just the reveal, the ramifications of the, I assume, God-given gift that has been hinted about Graf has incalculable ramifications. Which I shall try to deal with in what shall be the epilogue to this novel.

Yes, you read that correctly. Just before Mass last Sunday, when I normally listen for ideas for the story, I realized that this, like Friend & Ally/Foes & Rivals, will be a pair of books. All 55-58k (I’m not finished here, yet) words will be the first. The second will be the massive interplanetary fallout of this religious war about to start. I found that so jarring to the relative quiet and peace of Graf and Pai’s story so far that I simply could not see it all being under one cover. So, two books.

There will be a few more segments of New Pai, posted here. That will form the Epilogue of the first book, paving the transition for the chaos to come. Like most great wars, it will start because of a misunderstanding. Lovely to be writing something horrible with spring around the corner. Writers take the good with the bad. More very soon.

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New Pai, 8

A rare Tuesday update. Honestly, I’m hitting my stride on the coming war so want much of this out of the way. If anyone thinks I’ve handed Pai’s new form, her introduction, wrong, please comment. The 3.5-way relationship is not like anything I have dealt with before and welcome input.

So. We learn what one-point-oh might be up to in the coming months. We also are getting a better idea about the… insurgency? Is that the apposite word? Of what is coming. Rebellion? As I have not been told what it looks like, I am not sure what to call it. And, it sounds as if Reina is doing what she does best.

At least there is peace within this family. Besides God, Family is everything.

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New Pai, 7

We all learn a little more about 2.0. And, yes, I deliberately side-stepped the issue of the coming war in favor of touching on a potentially prurient detail. Theologically, I think Graf married Pai’s soul, those nearly four years ago, so her request might be unnecessary. Might. The physical consumation of a marriage has always played a significant role in post-Roman, Western European law. It’s similar to, back in one of the last chapters of Worlds Without End where Henge’s new body is conditionally re-baptized; why take chances?

I find it very odd that resistance to rule by demis or Machines would have some humans coalesce around the Fusions, who themselves are demis. Either that is not common knowledge or the “wings and halo” imagery lends itself to religious fervor. There is, of course, no one who could stop Reina from taking any measures she wants, and I’ll have to check my timeline to see if Aurie’s father is still alive. If not, her mother Henge would be the sole restraint on her.

A few more days of peace, then I think I’ll light this world on fire.

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New Pai, 6

A short addition for a Friday, but there’s obviously a lot going on in this little scene. There, obviously, will be confusion and questions on Graf’s part. Really, I have several, as well. Does 1.0 get deactivated and/or put into storage? She still has live flesh to feed every three days, unless Somi removes it first. Since a Thinking Machine could easily setup and use multiple androids, is 1.0 still out and about, especially in the face of a possible coming religious war? I have no idea.

Let’s all find out, together.

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New Pai, 2

Wife woke up at 0011 complaining of aches and pains. She also had – and has – a fever. One of our weekend pharmacists says influenza is endemic in central Ohio right now. Boomers panic and go to the hospitals, so now there are no beds. It’s the fookin’ flu. Yes, it sucks, but maybe it’s your time, Mr. and Mrs. “We’re spending our childrens’ inheritance.”

So, I’ll post what I have as I’m not sure when I’ll be back to the keyboard. With this RealLife illness, I also mention how Graf was sick early in their mission.

With Mindy’s Intended there, I now have a fresh set of eyes to look at what is going on. He’s obviously not comfortable with the Graf/Pai/Alix situation, but is quickly distracted in hearing of Fusions. And, Graf and Min’s father experiences a little healing, thinking what future might be for his grandchildren.

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