Not too much… really just wrapping up Gary’s day I started awhile ago. The ‘problem’ is what I saw next: just as I feared, I’m sorely tempted to start talking about the Hartmann’s and how life has changed in Knoxville over the past ten years.
Deep breaths: let’s try to stay focused on our happy couple…
This is going to be based on an idea I had almost three weeks ago. You don’t have to go back and read it – in fact, I’d rather you didn’t, as a better, edited, version is in a blockquote below the fold.
Henge (“hen-geh”) first made an appearance toward the end of The Fourth Law. I was playing with the idea of how AIs could make children; not just copies of themselves, but children, and she showed up. In the last scene of my second novel, Echoes of Family Lost, Henge meets Gary when everyone is taking some well deserved R&R on her beach. They make some connexion I still don’t understand and announce to both Families, human and machine, that they’re getting married.
The trick for me is to not get sidetracked on what’s happened politically and/or socially in the intervening ten years. I’m going to have to say something, obviously, but I’ll try to confine myself to culture. What I want to accomplish here is a love story between two very different people, who are united by their deep orthodox Catholic faith.
Let’s go!
I suspected this would happen: my small writing exercise would trigger something that goes on longer. I’m hoping – hoping! – that this is only going to be 1000-1200 words, total. That’s all I’ve seen as yet.
This, originally, was a scene from my second novel, Echoes of Family Lost. However, because of my writing style (start in the middle, use flashbacks for details) this just didn’t fit. And worse, it allowed me to start writing exposition rather than dialog. It’s a failing of mine but at least I know it’s there.
The gist of this is that Lily Barrett, her friend Fausta, and their guide, Orloff, are on their way from the Republic of Texas towards East Tennessee, to find someone very important to her. The badlands of post-Breakup America are a rough place, but charitas may be found in unexpected places.
See? That’s me, talking again. I’ll shut up now.
Looked over some notes from a project that never worked out: “Crosses & Doublecrosses.” It was to be a political-espionage thriller. I stopped writing the story after about a page and switched to notes. After ten pages of notes, I realized that 1) this was work, not fun, and 2) I’m not cut out for this sort of story – at least, not right now.
It was to be the back-story of what happened in Texas during the Breakup. The main character was Sylvia Fernandez, a lawyer who comes to work for Clive Barrett and his state terror organization I modeled on the Checka. Clive Barrett is the father of the heroine of my first two novels, T4L and EFL.
Below the fold is one of the introductory scenes. Looking at my notes, I’d forgotten that I’d cross-populated this part of the story with a character from my visual novel, OTChi Kocchi (reviewed here). I was younger then.
Going back to leap forward: from the end of “Echoes of Family Lost”, when a certain character declares his love for another (are there not Spoiler Tags in WordPress?), we find ourselves ten years in the future, on the beach, but around the dinner table just a few minutes before.
From a few in-person, including my wife, but mostly via email. Why almost no one ever leaves comments here, I don’t know.
There was much unhappiness how I wrapped up Defiant Act 2.5: at the pool with Joe’s diagnosis. If I were to distill is all down, I guess “casually tossing out a main character!” would be the flak I caught.
Yeah. I did. Because this was never meant to be a coherent novel, but a nine-month long writing exercise, the break from Acts 2 and 3 was huge. 2.5 was meant to be a bridge; but, it seems that like the Lewis & Clarke, it was a bridge too far. The anchor issue is that Joe MUST have cancer and go to Japan for treatment: he’s on the boat back to Portland with Maya in “Cursed Hearts.”
Is it the hyper-sexualized environment of the pool, and the emotional whiplash after, when Nichole5 realizes her First Friend is sick? A human girl would have no idea about his illness and banged him then and there. Nichole5 chose to shatter the moment for everyone in face of what she sees as a medical emergency.
Perhaps I went too far, too fast. I’ll give some thought as to how I might re-write this. Suggestions welcome, as I see nothing, right now.
To cite Arkada of Glass Reflections: ladies, gentlemen, and others, I present to you the final installment of Act 2.5 of “Defiant.” Yes, you read that right: the writing component is complete. Editing and ret-conning the four parts of this 18-month, 85.5k writing exercise into a proper novel will begin.
And therein lies your chance, you followers of this blog and those that have wandered in via my sole social media presence on Gab.ai: if you so desire, you can d/l and read the entire story between now and Saturday, for free. It’s very, very rough, but you’ll get what you pay for. Come Saturday, whenever I wake up, I’ll be pulling the entire ‘free webnovel’ down as I begin to turn it into a commercial novel. As always, I’ll do the first-pass editing myself. Second and copyediting – and a cover – are as yet an unknown; after the layabout wife and the Dog With the Golden Nose, it’s all ramen and Taco Bell salsa packets here. My sole, possible, hard-deadline, is January 26th, when I might have another Creative Writing panel at Ohayocon. If I do, I’d like to say, “since my last panel, I’ve published two books… what did you do?” Keeps the snarkers from snarking.
Anyway, there’s just over thirty five hundred fricking words below the fold! Open a bottle of wine or make a pot of coffee, the one right next to that bottle of bourbon, sit back, and, please, see what I’ve seen… and have fun!
“Meet me at eight!”
Who hasn’t been there at some moment of their life? In this case, Nichole and Joe go back to Portland, a diversion to Zom’s, some other characters show up… for dinner…
Oh my God, they leave the battlezone at dawn! That has them back into the City around 0800! What the hell am I supposed to do for the next nine to ten hours?!
Eleven days straight at Day Job. At least I was able to think a great deal about what the hell might or might not be going on. True to my style, I went for the minimalist approach. So, we get a little overlap of the last scene from Joe’s perspective, followed by Nichole doing gallant machine things and Joe doing gallant human things.
I am genuinely happy when machines and humans compliment one another as men and women do.
Last Sunday, our parish priest – in anticipation of Thanksgiving – asked us to consider what we’re thankful for. Besides the trite answers (“my family!”), what I really thought was that God let me see, and write, stories like this. I don’t deserve it.
Yes, it’s been a-while. I’m a lousy writer and terrible person. For those you not out on a date with your current or future spouse, here’s a treat: 3600 words of a battle just about to start. Being Veterans/Remembrance Day, I have Nichole look around at one point, recalling the living so that she will be able to recall the dead, fighting to save their homes and families.
When I write the battle at L&C bridge – which should go quickly, I’m not one for battle scenes – there’s a moment with Nichole and Joe at the end of it, then back to the City. At that point, I’ve all the raw material, about 80k words, complete, and just need to edit it into a coherent novel. By Christmas.
If any hot strawberry-blonde girls want to gift me US$500 for the 99designs.com cover for this book, I’ll use your image, if you do. Otherwise, I’m having to sell a kidney.
machciv 