I don’t think I’ve a hand for this, either. I had my wife read the part I just wrote, in italics, below. She wandered off muttering “I like your romance, better.” As if I can effing write romance stories! She praises me with faint damns.
The taxi sat silently in its parking space at the small lot at Okadama Airport. The driver’s side seat was fully reclined, allowing Maya more easy access to the driver’s brain. After finding clothes and money at Neuroi, she’d taken the rail south into Sapporo city. At the main rail station, she’d wandered about until locating the cab station and asked a driver to take her to the airport. Arriving at Okadama, it matched nothing in the memories she’d eaten. The driver said the big airport was an hour to the south, but she’d not been specific! Would she like to pay for a drive there, too?
She’d reached around from the back seat and crushed his windpipe. Maya thought about the next step, ignoring the gurgling as the man slowly choked to death. She scowled slightly; had she not killed him, he could have driven her to the other airport! Ah.
She would learn to drive a car.
She left the vehicle and looked about. There: a small bamboo patch. She inspected and rejected several shoots until she found one of just the right size. Returning to the back seat of the car, she shut the door and dropped the driver’s seat back. He was almost dead.
Maya tore out his left eyeball. With a sharp drop of her right fist, she rammed the bamboo tube through the back of his eye socket. Oxygen deprivation kept him from fighting back more than feebly. Wrenching the shoot up and left, she put her mouth to it and began sucking his brains out.
See what I mean: clinical. This isn’t an horror story, it’s an autopsy report. I don’t know what to do to ‘scare’ the reader. Yes, yes: I chose something outside my comfort zone to push me as a writer, but maybe I shouldn’t have done that in combination with NNWM! The other half of the story, with Chris and Cat, is coming along nicely: romance! Well, sort of. Too much exposition, but cleaning that up is what December is for.
Official Word Count: 9032.